3rd Grade

Thursday, August 15, 2013

It's that time of year once again. Shoes are squeaky clean. Backpacks dot my living room floor. Coffee becomes a necessity rather than a simple luxury. School has begun. My Kindergartener and 2nd grader are now 1st and 3rd graders.

Speaking of the third grade, my third grade year was a disaster. Now I don't think that Peyton is headed in the same direction.  But while we're talking 3rd grade, do you want to hear about my experience?

My third grade year started off with a stinky ol' move from the corn fields of Indiana up to the "big city" of  Fort Wayne. My tender-hearted self was torn apart by having to say goodbye to friends that I'd known since birth. To make matters worse, apparently country schools are significantly different than city schools-- at least back in, oh...1989. Namely, I was much further advanced academically, yet had to sit and twiddle my thumbs in class because my new teacher wouldn't let me move ahead. 

Then came the migraines. The kind that made me nauseated at smells {and for some reason my mom liked to fix "mush" while I was in the midst of these episodes-- GAG! To be fair, it probably only happened once or twice-- the mush, that is-- but it obviously left quite the impression} and begged me to lie in bed in a pitch-black room while my brain clawed at my skull for relief. When the migraines subsided and I went back to school I couldn't dare join in the gym class games of dodge ball because each sudden movement reminded me that my bruised brain was still tender from the barrage of pain in the days before. I was miserable. And apparently so was my teacher. Because after much discussion at home, my parents decided that this school probably wasn't the best fit. When I told Mrs. XXX that I would be leaving, her reply was, "So, do you always get what you want?" Yikes! {Mind you, I might've felt miserable, but I was a pleaser to the nth degree, so I hadn't been voicing my feelings. What a rough thing to say to a 9-year-old}.

Off I went to Catholic school. We're not Catholic. Welcome: Strange new world part deux. No paragraph necessary. I can sum it up in three words: Drama. Drama. Drama. 3rd grade girl drama precisely. Mean girls. Ugh. Pleaser alert going off in my head at full-intensity! {Can't all girls just GET ALONG?!} 

But one thing came out of that year that I've never forgotten. In the midst of the drama, apparently I worked really hard to be a peacemaker. So much so, in fact, that the head nun called my parents one afternoon just to tell them that they noticed what I was doing and that they wouldn't be one bit surprised if I became a counselor one day. 

Fast forward 10 years to Pre-Med & Classical Studies then Corporate Communications & Political Science. Then another 5 years to being a stay-at-home mom with a few writing and communication gigs in the mix.  Add another 4 years {last year} and I'm happily sewing and adjusting to not having two kids with me all day. Which brings us to today. 

My life is changing. I can feel it. 

Maybe you've noticed all of the postings I've put on Facebook about human trafficking. Maybe you read this post. Or this one {and yes, I do realize that I still need to finish moving my pictures back over to the blog}. This injustice has captured my heart. These precious ones with no one to speak up for them, I can't bear it.  I want to use my mouth and my influence pave the way for their freedom. How can I not? 

The thing is, remember that nun I mentioned from the 3rd grade? She was right. All these years I've been waiting for the God to open my eyes and prod my heart to the right thing at the right time. Finally, when I wasn't even looking, He came knocking on my heart. I'm certain that the time is now. 

What does that mean exactly? I don't have a specific answer for you yet. You'll have to be patient with me while I do my best to figure that out. It does immediately mean that "Lovespun Studio" is no more. I still enjoy sewing as a hobby, and I don't intend to stop. I may still post a few tutorials or recommend certain fabrics or books or patterns or shops, but I won't have an Etsy shop or make things often. If I get a wild hare and make 12 infinity scarves, you'll be the first to know. Every now and then I still need that creative outlet. For that reason I will keep my Lovespun Studio FB page up and running. 

Keep watching and waiting. I have a lot to share. My heart is full and my mind is racing. From here on out, I'll be blogging here at www.kirstencsmith.com. If you wouldn't mind switching it up on your Bloglovin' or Feed Reader, I would love it. The simplicity of it all is that I need to just be me. I grow and morph and change.  Allowing my heart to pour out through my own personal avenue rather than via a brand gives me the freedom to transform with ease. Does that makes sense? I'm not the best compartmentalizer-- it's all of me or none of me most of the time. Trying to only give you a part doesn't ever end up working. Hence, let's just stick to kirstencsmith.com for now. 

So here's to a new start. And you know, as terrible as 3rd grade was, I'm so thankful for those words spoken over my life. Let's see where this goes.

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